I'm not quite sure what this feeling is today, but I feel like I am going to disappear from existence if I don't talk to T about the stuff I disclosed on Saturday... It's as if I'm a ghost that is only more "real" when talked about, like I have no real physical form and am in danger of being sucked out into the blackness if we don't talk about this soon... Kinda like needing acknowledgement to be made corporeal again... I think it's maybe stemming from having disclosed (in writing) about the severity of my dissociation and not having talked about it because I gave it to her at the end of the session with the request that she read it before we get together again next week.
It's also weird because interactions with other people are not filling that need to be "seen" by T... :/ Does anyone else ever get like that? as if other interactions don't count, but those with T do? It feels like I wear a mask for the rest of the world, but try to let it down in T. Then once I do, I am desperate for that continued "genuine" interaction, and for being accepted "as is"...
Next Saturday is way too far away...