This is my first time on the site and I'm on my phone and using the speak to type so I hope it works OK. Please pardon any poor typing because of this. My mom said similar things to me growing up. She wanted me to be in a beauty pageant and was disappointed because I refused. She took one of my evening gowns from a prom and gave it to someone who was in a beauty pageant and made the comment that at least my dress was able to be in a beauty pageant even if I couldn't. I was repeatedly told she wished I was like this other person who was in the pageant. I later realized my mother was jealous of me because my friends would ask me how come when you get something new she always has to go out and buy one that's nicer. This was when I was an adult. I have never been beautiful. And and for several years I kept waiting for that to happen but it never did. I have been able to find things I do like about me like my eyes etc. So I hope you can find something that you like about yourself too. Because we are all beautiful in our own way. We are all unique and beauty is different to everyone so to me it makes no sense call one person beautiful and another not. I finally decided that if we were all alike it would be a horrible world. All of my life I have never been good enough in any way shape or form, for my exhusband or my family and even some people who are so called friends. There are bullies everywhere out there. I have had abuse in my life from the day I was conceived because my mom kept trying to get rid of me and did not want to have a child. I seem to attract bullies
and abusers. I believe I have been depressed all my life, but it seems to be affecting me a lot more now. I am alone, getting older and living with chronic pain and unable to work from an accident. I am thankful to find this group and know that I'm not the only one out there going through things. Right now I can barely get out of bed. And I have gotten so far behind on cleaning my house and watering and mowing my yard I don't know where to begin cuz I really need some help but I can't afford it. So I have just given up and let everything go. thank you for sharing so I'm no I'm not alone. hugs to you