I remember things I did not have language back then to describe. However, I remember, fear, confusion and feeling "unsafe" and also being "overpowered/powerless" as well.

I think that most likely you held on to these feelings and worked around them growing up too. I would assume you most likely have these same emotions come up whenever you feel powerless with something taking place in your life or environment too.

I can now see how different things about me really do go way back. When I remember how I raised my own child, I always stayed close to her, never let her cry for hunger, I would not follow the advice about just putting her down for a nap and allowing her to cry with lonliness feeling she "had to" just go to sleep. I prefered to have her be with friends at my home so I could keep an eye on her to make sure the other child was "safe" for her to play with. I did not allow hitting and spanking in my home, I feel it only scares children because I saw too much of it in my home growing up and I know it scared me.

I was the littlest in my family growing up, I felt the most vulnerable, I never wanted my own child to feel that way.

I always wondered why I had problems with "space" perceptions tbh. Well, I finally figured out that I never really got over my childhood perceptions of space and size.
I never really wanted to have a "big house" because I felt safter in a smaller home, but I didn't really realize that about myself.

So, while you may not have a lot of language, you actually have more than you realize where your sense of "safety" and emotional support is concerned.

OE