Okay, we had our own most productive self-help idea, how about most productive suggestion someone else gave you?

My stepmother and I never quite got along but I still remember when she told me something about myself and then felt she had to add, "that's just an observation, not a criticism". At the time, still felt like a criticism :-) but after a whole lot of therapy I now understand what she meant and can tell the two apart :-) Sometimes I even find it helpful to remind myself that others may just be telling me what they "see" not judging me.