While living my non sense, no porpuse life I have to deal with people of my age looking happy and successful. Sometimes I envy them, many times I don't, but normally I feel anger because they have a life and I don't. They have talents, they go for it, and I just have to live my mediocre life.
It's my impression or many people around have many projects and they are always up to do something?

I hate my parents parenting style and I blame them for many of my inabilities. In my home, when I am with them there is a sensation like time had suddenly stop. The hurry, the have to do, the maybe we should try this and have fun this way do not exist. It's all about inertia. And at the same time there is also a sensation like there wasn't life outside, since we live pretty isolated from the outside world.

At the same time I was raised to be dependent on them, not believe myself. My life is pretty limited because of this and I need to find a way of letting it go.

But what they did to me, the differences between me and people my age pulls me down.

At the same time those people do all those things I feel more apart from them and from the possibility of belonging somewhere where they do. It's seems like people search and choose the ones with similar tastes and interest.

And tomorrow I have an exam, even before university starts. I am not sure if I really care about my grades or not. But since no one signed to do the test before the year begins I will be the only one in a room with the main teacher. It's an odd feeling.