Ooh. Hi Soccer Mom... I know there was another thread were we crossed paths with some similar issues. I had an emotionally distant (emotionally neglectful!) mom as well... so that's interesting to me to see the similarities.

On needs - nope. I'm not sure I can even identify them yet. T has stressed a couple times that he wants to make therapy "safe" for me, and asked what I needed. Hmmm... I feel perplexed. I have no ideas here. I also still feel like I don't know T that well... so I really do not want him trying to hug me or physically comfort me - nope nope nope. That would be WAY too much closeness too fast for me. Though, I would probably be ok with a handshake if he wanted to connect more.... maybe!

re: Attachment disorder... T hasn't said anything yet to me, but I took an online test, and scored pretty high for the push-pull attachment (disorganized, I think? I can't remember? Fearful-anxious?) Basically the one where you want to get close to people, but get scared. I am not sure if he has figured this out yet... I've actually thought about bringing in a printout from the test to say, "hey, just in case you haven't figured it out yet... "

And, along the same line... it makes it really hard for me. I want to trust T, but I get freaked out and run away. Or feel like he's not understanding. Or sometimes feel good, but too close. It's this constant... "come closer, help me, understand - omg! Too close! Back up!" I found (and still find) it even hard to look at his website with his picture sometimes, now that I'm a client, because for me it generates feelings of "ick - too close" (not "ick" against him personally, just from the "too close" part.)

I don't know what to make of it all. I think I'd feel better if I was confident that he understood THIS part, and knew how to deal with it! I'm just not sure, and we haven't had a chance to talk about it yet...

Hmm.. sorry not sure how helpful that was. I think I'm not far enough in to give advice yet on this stuff!