Yeah that stuff is a minefield for me (and a goldmine for my T--haha!)

I have touched on it but avoid it if I can because it leaves me feeling unbelievably angry, exposed and vulnerable. I inevitably wind up in a little crisis a few days after one of those sessions where I can't concentrate, feel tearful, hate, hate, hate my T for not being there when I need her and wonder why the hell I do this to myself. It's really not pretty.