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Old Sep 01, 2014, 08:30 PM
Soccer mom Soccer mom is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 1,478
Quote:
Originally Posted by pmbm View Post
I had a mother who was not there for me emotionally and was also physically/sexually abusive. All of my past therapists have been mothery and hugged me and cuddled me and I have to say sometimes, I kept going to therapy just for that. I am starved for a mother. However, my therapist now is not a touchy feely type, and I am really enjoying that. She tried to pat my back on my way out the door one day, and I quickly pulled away. I don't need/want her to be my mother. I think I get too dependent that way. I don't want to be dependent on this lady, I want to heal. I read a book a while ago called the Emotionally Absent Mother by Jasmin Lee Cory and it was really helpful. I think I would really benefit from a mother figure in my life as long as that person was not my therapist.
I should probably clarify that while I want to tell her that, I don't necessarily want her to hug me. I know it wouldn't always be good for me. She did hug me when my mom died. Now she will pat my arm or back as I leave. I have to admit I like it and feel all is ok when she does. When she doesn't, it bothers me.
I have also read that book and could relate so much to it.
Hugs from:
Aloneandafraid, pmbm