I have trouble identifying my needs a lot of the time, and definitely can't speak them in the moment. Former t and I kinda worked on it a bit, and then I was able to tell her in writing after the session some of the stuff I needed, but I generally stay away from even acknowledging having any needs, let alone asking for help with them. Right now new t and I have identified a need for emotional safety and a lack of judgement. I had tried to ask for additional support via extra session or setting me up with an outside group, but that failed, so I try not to ask for that stuff much anymore. I just one away for it without ever telling her.
I don't think I'd ever be able to ask for a hug or anything like that. The closest I got was with former t, and even that I could not acknowledge as my own need not could I acknowledge needing a real hug instead of a metaphorical one.
My mom was and continues to be emotionally distant. I understand why, but it doesn't make my cravings for emotional connection less. It actually makes that craving for a motherly t somewhat awkward, as I livewith my mom again for the time being. I think it bothers her that I don't look to her for the support even if she'd not freely give it. Weird dynamic at home, but I digress... in short, I don't know what my needs are most of the time, so I can't ask for them to be met.