I've been reading through the responses over and over...trying to get into the common thread I am discerning in them. (Not that there is an intended common thread, but my mind is looking for one...as most minds do...trying to find a pattern)

...the common thing i pulled out seems to be first about: fear of our feelings. then second there seems to a link by taking "action", the action of exploring what the "feeling" is being "used" for. i guess it goes with the thought...everything has a purpose. like Perna said "feelings are almost always appropriate" -- and we are talking "feelings" - not what we *do* with those feelings. the things we *do* may not always be appropriate. but that may be because we don't have connection to the feelings behind them. so reacting without "knowing what we are doing" is what we want to avoid.

this doesn't really speak about "how to feel feelings"

maybe the first feeling that needs action on is the "fear" about the "feelings".

I'll ruminate more later.