I am in your same boat in a sense. I cannot afford to see a therapist so I purchased a book on CBT to treat my depression. My medical doctor has prescribed my antidepressant meds. I also find practicing my spirituality helps when I get self-disciplined enough to make time for prayer and reading my Bible. I have had some trouble with the CBT. In the first place it hits home too hard. I find all the examples of distorted thinking apply to me. I also have difficulty recognizing and naming the particular negative thought that causes the depression. I only know it is a distorted negative thought. It's like going back to school but this time I can't seem to absorb the material intellectually like I could when I was in school.

I am doing the exercises. I have just started this book so I hope as I progress I will absorb the material.

The main abuse I endured during my childhood was bullying in school. I had loving, caring parents and a good family. I may have been a little too sheltered in my family. I lived in an environment where there were more adults than children. I missed having children to play with in the neighborhood. Most of the children I associated with were at school. I had some friends in school but I will never forget the bullying that I had to endure in grade school.

I wish you the best and I want to see your efforts pay off.