Hi all,
I am really nervous about posting on her, but I can't think we're else yo get the answers I need.
I meet my wife 10 years ago in a few days and for the last 5 years she has told me she is leaving or I should leave.
Last week she asked me to leave for good and wants a divorce and she seems resolute.
We have 2 beautiful kids that we both adore.
My wife has had a tough life , a mentally ill , violent horrid dad, a mentally ill and terminally ill mother who had progressive ms and Pastaway a few years back after a horrible slow death. She has numerous friends who struggle with mental illness, a friend dying of cancer. Family break ups and our roller foster relationship on top of that.
My wife has always had depression and I have always known about it, she is pro active , exercising , medicating , we have paid for counselling etc.
I love my wife with all my heart and to outsiders she is bubbly fun loving and has so many friends who all think she is amazing.
There are too many wonderful qualities to list, but she has always thought I was to good for her and her insecurities lead to her telling me that she wanted to split up.
I left the house a few times for a few weeks, refused to leave once or twice and then she begin to live like a single lady out every weekend, with same friends who also knew the local singles!!!!!, I hated this, she would dress up sexy go out , tell me about all these men chatting her up and trying to kiss her when she was telling them about me and the kids. She asked me to go but I was so angry and anti and felt stupid this was going on I didn't.
It all lead to what I am told was only an emotion affair, she wouldn't leave her phone anywhere , she was dressing up and going out to regular voluntary work at night!!!! I found the texts and Facebook messages , wishing I want there and that they could be together as soon as I go out .
My world fell apart, I challenged her and she said that nothing physical went on,, I'm not sure , I know they kissed drunkenly which May had lead to more.
I was told that in no uncertain terms that I had to except him as a friend as he was part of her new circle of friends and that I had to be polite and not cause a fuss.
She has always said I don't find her sexy, that I don't think she is beautiful and that she is fat etc, she is beautiful and she is sexy and I tell her regularly
I refused she wanted to leave, family and friends got involved and she begrudgingly went to counselling.
We patched it up, the councillor asked me to see him privately and explained that she was badly emotionally sacred and had mental illness and that if I stayed with her it was a long term commitment as she needed a lot of support.
I didn't think twice I loved her and always will.
6 months later I made the biggest mistake of my life and feel into the arms of a young beautiful woman who had persuaded me for a long time , which I was oblivious to until it was in my face.
I was venerable, tired and needed some love. It lasted 3 weeks , I told my wife I said I was leaving . Then realised I was a mess had made a mistake and asked her forgiveness, which at the time she was more than willing to give . I will regret it forever.
My wife has never forgotten this a few weeks ago has told me for the ,I have lost count , that it's over . But usually the next week she is madly in love with me. But this has been for 4 weeks now?
She was diagnosed with bi polar about a year ago , but the councillor said he though she should find out 5 years ago.
I don't know if the divorce talk is the bipolar, as she is making huge, decisions quickly with out thought, she is borrowing money from friends and seems supremely confident at the moment.
Her friends think she is being irrational and to spontaneous , as do my family. I have asked to visit the doctor and a councillor just to make sure we aren't tearing the world apart and we won't be able to fix it again
How do I work out if it's the manic that is talking or her before it is to late

I know this is a bit of a ramble but there is so much more , I just hope we can get through this

Please help