I've always had friends come and go frequently... it really sucks, but in the long run you end up with just the dedicated awesome friends that you collect over the years.

And yay for all those emails! That took courage for you, be proud of yourself!

I think pointing out that you need help with childhood trauma is relevant. And hey... who is easy to get to know when they've lived with that? Any good T should be able to understand that it's hard to get to know someone who's always had shields up. Some people just take the more hostile route, and others take the fake-pleasant route. (I did the fake-pleasant, haha).