(((pinksoil)))

I hope you will call him. How caring he is to suggest this.

I can understand how your post-therapy evening with your friend pleasantly sidetracked you. I don't like to have anything scheduled after my therapy sessions in order to better process and feel. Just drive home, cook dinner for the family, veg out, etc. Maybe at this stage in your therapy you can give yourself some processing space afterwards and not schedule any post-T social events.

Your comments about SI are interesting to me. It's almost like your SI has been a cry for help and attention, throughout your life, and you are mad that no one has ever really noticed or seems to have cared (sorry if that is not a correct interpretation!). That is really interesting to me, as I was a chronic SI-er but I kept it really hidden and didn't want anyone to know. For me it was not a call for attention but a way to deal with pain, and I felt it was really deviant and didn't anyone to know, ever, and never told anyone. It sounds like your T is ready to talk about your SI when you are ready to want to deal with it. I think he was not rejecting you at all. I too am worried about your reckless driving. Please, take care.