My mum was 17 and my dad was 19 when they had me. I got everything I needed.

I had my son just after my 21st birthday. My daughter when I was 28. My children don't go with out nothing. They have most then normal children with 2 parents. But them things aren't important. It's about being there. The smiles the love you can give.

My mental health issues have extremely bad at times.

And yes it's all well and good saying our children give us a reason for living.... But when your at your worse when your in the darkest and lowest place you can be.. The only thing you can think is they are better off with out me.
SELFISH? To bloody right.

But that's how it is for some.

I found being a young mum. Was great.. But when my friends were going out and I wanted to go have fun... Because well I'm entitled too. And I couldn't go. Because no baby sitter. I felt trapped. Lonely and angry. Not at my kids but because well I guess cos I couldn't have both.

My son is now 12... The cute stage has gone! Do you know how many times he says he hates me? Lots.. Because I won't let him have his own way..

My daughter says she won't be my friend any more if I don't buy her a kinda egg in the local shop..

When I was in my darkest place those words killed me like a stabbing knife to my chest. Being BPD I can't stand those words that some one hates me let alone my own children. Even if they don't mean it and I it's a tantrum.

These are the things you need to consider.
You will do what you have to do. But please like I said before just be 100% and do your homework into having a baby.

Man I hope this makes sense [emoji15]



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk