Quote:
Originally Posted by cureav
Underground, yes I am a NON, and yes I don't understand N's. I get this error in my head when I hear that someone is aware of his dysfunctional behavior, that he is hurting people around without any reason, projecting his damaged upbringing, and after acknowledging all that, he is doing nothing about it, not care that he is hurting others, and proceeding doing it.
Where do we get if N is hurting constantly, and he is doing it compulsively, and it has been told to him, and people starts to avoid him...? Where do we get?
Is the only option you are saying to distance from N and break the contact and/or stay with an N and keep hurting?
I just get this error in my head cause you are saying that you don't give a damn that others are hurt, and that there is nothing to do about it cause N needs to discharge his need to gaslight, manipulate and hurt.
What do you say, where is the "Manual" for everyday people who haven't read about NPD? Are you saying that that every person that N is making a contact with needs to be educated about this disorder?
From my experience while dealing with N in my life, I would say that life is too short to be sucked into N's tragedy cause here, in my country, there is very little help.
Also I understand that N's need to talk about their issues in order to make a control over their behavior.
The only thing that pisses me off is that you've sad that N's hurt others, they know about it, and they don't care about it.
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A little more of my OWN perspective:
Cureav I first and foremost never use my PD as a crutch as I find so many others do with their own issues. I never said what to do about the N in others lives as that is left entirely up for them. I know I have hurt many people and have very easily shrugged it off without any bother to me. Does this mean this satisfies me?? Not at all, it only means this is who I am. I have a family member who is bipolar among other PDs. He lies, steals from family and other bad things continually. You see I am like him except I make you want to give things to me. You will believe that my intentions are good and feel positive about giving me what I ask. I steal from you with a smile and a statement not behind your back. Who is better? Probably not me but these are things I work very hard at not doing anymore. I do not intentionally make these things happen because usually they just do. My mind say this is ok when reality is anything but. I have issues and say it all the time, I am not who I am but who I have become. For me I do not go around intentionally hurting people, the big error is that I don't think like you. My reasoning is different but it is never "I am going to hurt someone for fun today and do it again and again". So my comment about Ns hurting others and not caring is true it's just not planned out like you took it, it just happens. I live in America and I have yet to find any great help so your not alone. And last, people dealing with Ns would be best if they were equipped to know who they were dealing with. Problem is some are too good to be known until it's too late.