Hi oceansoftime, I second you absolutely don't deserve to be treated like that. And with depression there can be an apathy, powerlessness, disinterest, or just no energy to fight or even care so your reaction is completely understandable. But do you think his behavior has contributed to the depression........although if not I'm sure it hasn't helped, right?
So all about you now, hey?? And what's going to help you.
Just some thoughts.........does he really understand your depression, or might he be thinking that deep down you're not interested in him?? Now that absolutely wouldn't excuse his behavior, but if you think it might help trying to have a "heart to heart" including sharing some of what you're feeling and see if there's a way forward???
Or maybe marriage counselling could help??
Then you might want to get some space from him to concentrate on yourself and getting some help, without this "dragging you further down"??
And I really want to say a lot of space, as in showing him the door, but it's all about what's best for you..........just keep it in mind as a real option, hey??
And help for you...........you really need to put yourself first.........do you think you could "fast track" getting treatment, or "shop around" for more affordable options??
In some areas, you could access different/cheaper medications, and some therapists offer a sliding scale of charges depending on your income if that may be an option for you??
And if the motivation to get that help isn't there then just know that you do deserve it, and that things can get better.
And you know, in any way we can help, we're here for you too.
Alison