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Sep 02, 2014, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by euphy

My emotions were dead for a while. Avoidance is my key method of barely coping.

Recently, my feelings came back...reason unknown.

I play world of warcraft. I used to date a guy on there. I have a real life boyfriend now, but I still talk to this ex sometimes...(insert unknown emotional need to reconnect...sometimes with exes who were absolutely horrid to me!).

Anyhoo, I found out this guy has a new girlfriend and he was wearing this rainbow belt on his toon that I had been wearing on mine when we dated. He copied me then and now he's wearing it again with this new girl. I feel pissed that he stole my personality. It isn't his. I flipped out, felt this anxiety burst through my throat and I was hyperventilating. I get a rash when I do this on my throat/chest area.

I threatened my ex that I would get wow workers to remove him from my server...(I was on this server first). This was a lie, obviously, I have no control over anything in wow. I called him lewd names and insulted his image. Namely pointing out he didn't have his "own" identity.

I apologized after the episode and asked for forgiveness.

I felt really unhappy afterwards and wanted to die.

I haven't spoken to this ex a lot and I like my new boyfriend and want to get married to him and have kids and all the fun stuff (I think).

I've texted a few people about this and some are surprised at my disastrous behavior over a "belt." But I know it's deeper than that and I didn't bother to explain that part.

Today I skipped the gym because I'm feeling so bad after yesterday's incident.

I don't enjoy treating people poorly.

Lately it seems I morph into unfounded rages that cause great pain inside...and I'm willing to take out anything in my path.

Hey, I feel your pain. I do stuff like that all the time.

Great to hear you have a bf you like, who could turn into a husband one day !

I think you should forgive yourself for this incident and just try not to do the same in the future ... that's really the best we can do, right ?