My advice is you have to do what is best for you. Only then can you be there for your kids. Staying in a marriage that is belittling your self esteem and having someone walk over your self worth isn't a way to live. That does your children no good either to see their mom constantly belittled. Things can be fixed but it takes great effort from both people. You can't fox him as he can't fix you. You both have to work thru you personal issues and then you can work on how to work together.

You have to stand up for youself. And I know that is the hardest thing in the world for some people. If you can't stand up for yourself because of abuse then I would get away and fond safety. Shelter or family/friends. Anyone who can make it safe for you.

If you do leave then you also have to work out what happens with the kids. Who keeps custody, child support. You will most liekly have to work. I doubt he will give you enough even if you get custody and child support to live off of.

Have you tried finding a job now? Putting money away would be adventageous. Does he stop you from working? Possible a work at home job could be good for you.

In a proper relationship people have freedom to do what they need to so they can be happy. I'm.not saying everyone can go party while the spouse takes care of the bills, but you should be able to do things that you find fulfilling and make you happy. A spouse should encourage that within reason. If he is frying to control you and stripping away your freedom and happiness and then it isn't really worth it is it? Your not his servent and he doesn't own you. You have the same rights , feelings and needs as he does. I hope you can remind yourself of that.

My biggest advice is to keep yourself safe. Personal security should be your main concern. The next to to find balance and personal piece. Its so easy to love in our head and have put owj demons tell us we deserve nothing and aren't even people. Find a way to deal with your trauma. Take care of your kids needs once your are met. Make sure they are fed, clothes and have the love every child needs to be happy. Then your marriage should be after that. If those other things are out of whack, having a sucessful marriage is difficult.

Take care of yourself big mama. You are a deserving woman who deserves to feel safe and find happiness. It is out there. Fight for it and don't let people take it away for their own benifiet.