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Originally Posted by My kids are cool
I was not trying to argue or criticize. I do think it is great that you are getting in touch with therapists. I was merely trying to point out how something you do not see as a problem could be contributing to the issues that you have with friends and might actually be a problem. That is all. I was truly trying to help because I felt it was immensely helpful to me to have someone have the courage to tell me how my behavior was affecting others. My friends were all too afraid to hurt my feelings to tell me the truth. Being told how my behavior made me appear to others was very embarrassing at first and stung and I had a lot of shame around it. However, it was absolutely the best thing for me in the long so I could make the necessary changes to present myself in a way in real life that was actually more representative of who I am as a person.
If I thought Growlithing was just a horrible person who had no redeeming qualities, I would not bother to try to help her see how her behaviors detract from people being able to see the good qualities and the things she has to offer in a friendship. But, I will certainly refrain from posting from now on.
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I'm just trying to tell you how it might feel for her in case you ever have a BPD person in your life. It might help to know that strong reactions are about the way the world feels, and the way emotions feel. BPD people deserve to have other people be aware of these things, if our responses are at times seem disproportionate to others.
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Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
--leonard cohen
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