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Thank you so much silver tree.
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You are very welcome and worth my time
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I don't think I take any 'pride', personally, because it really doesn't mean anything to me, but yet I want to be remembered. It's confusing I know
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Sounds very much like a self esteem thing to me? I think you are naturally a good person but for you it is maybe not how you feel about yourself, so you look for this to be told to you by others to give you greater feeling of self worth maybe? When/if they don't it makes you feel like you are worth less for the good things you do?
This is of course faulty thinking (if it's the case) because unless you can feel proud about yourself and see your own self worth, you are always going to be dependant on others for that, and probably never feel forefilled sweetheart
Maybe thinking about the good that you do and feeling good about yourself for that would help a bit? You seem and have expressed hurt at what happened with your friends and yet have stayed loyal and expressed no real malice? That is a good person imo and you should take time to recognise that and congratulate yourself for that
Feel proud for all the good that you do brokenentity and work hard to change the bad and you are being a pretty amazing person imo
From what I have read, that's where you are as a person, so well done you. I would feel lucky to be your friend and I am sure you will be remembered, but try and remember your own good deeds too x
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“You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.”
― Max Ehrmann