For what it's worth, because I don't post much because of the manner in which a group of people react to me on the forum, you have no idea whether I am under emotional stress at the moment. I am actually hugely stressed out because of trying to raise another litter of orphan kittens, having to put my ancient horse to sleep, having issues in my extended family and trying to deal with some big trauma issues in my own therapy. My childhood was marked by severe and chronic abuse, physical, emotional and sexual. Being told I am being "inappropriate" for truly trying to help someone who comes from a similar situation as I did, and that I do not understand abuse or the issues it causes is very invalidating to my life experience.

I think it is entirely likely that Growlithing is correct when she says she does not have BPD. Her issues sound very much more like cPTSD and are similar to what I have experienced -- the intense shame and self criticism. I LIVE those things. I know how much intense shame I had and still have around not realizing how my behaviors made me appear. I had to wait until I was in my late thirties before someone had the balls to tell me. I was hoping to help Growlithing see it earlier at a stage of her life where she can address it and hopefully have it have less of an impact on her life than it had on mine.

So now, THIS really is my last post on this subject. I wish you all good things, Growlithing. Please know that I offered you something that was painful for me to share in the hopes of sparing you years of what I went through myself. If I am completely off base and you never offend or drive away people you are trying to be close to with your behavior, I sincerely apologize.