Hello, guess i can post in many of these forums as my life has been filled with many issues. childhood abuse, fear of beer drinkers because of it, self harming, running away (as soon as i became old enough to do so, in my teens), some wanker and drunktard lover blamed me to be an uncontrollable child for the numerous times I did run away and it was me that was locked up in juvie because of it and not the arse that deserved it. Now a masochist, sex hater, literally and without question as it is painful to have it. Not the sort of pain that i like. Had children because i just did not want to be alone in life and wanted a real family. Now 42, i do not involve my children in my choosen lifestyle. Anyhow, i do prefer Sadists as most of them do not like vaginal stuff and can live with **** and mouth only. i am thinking now of another branding. it is an addiction (maybe) but my choice. The only issue i care about is however is i do feel odd even amongst my fellow bdsm peers as other masochists do still enjoy sex and i don't and when others in the community speak of forced sex it is still not for me and i often wonder if they too fake liking sex as i cannot see how anyone could really like it and often think women fake to please men as that is what i have done my whole life.