maybe I am just being antisocial, but I don't see it as a snub..your husband just got out of the hospital..he needs to recover..he cant be partying...pass this on to one or two of the neighbors so it can make it thru the gossip at the party.....maybe send a side dish with one of your neighbors and ask her/him to pass along your sorrys that you cant make it....that way you are still taking part without having to be there....take care...