Yes everything that has ever happened to me was my fault because I'm the common denominator. Reasoning like this is why I blame myself for everything anyway.

I don't understand how you think that I can't see myself objectively when I objectively can tell that I am stand off ish, treatment resistant, combative, and defensive. I fight with people a lot instead of accepting help. I appear to get emotionally wrapped up in stuff way easily and come off as emotionally fragile when in reality 90% of body language is nonverbal and while my words are direct and melodramatic, I'm in reality not moved at all.