You have a big mess going on , Im sorry you do.

Maybe it is her Bipolar causing some of the behavior or maybe she is just doing it for the hell of it
Unless she wants help there is no way you force her. Has she ever been in treatment in the past for a extended amount of time? Seeing a Therapist and Doctor ? Take an medications for it ?

Even marriage counseling is only going to work if both people are wanting to be together and make changes that will allow for a loving relationship with communication and respect...

Regardless I think you could benefit from seeing a Therapist to help you sort out your situation.

I hope you both are taking into consideration how all this could/can be effecting your children. There wellbeing should be first and foremost.

I wish you luck on a very difficult situation. Welcome to PC you will find lots of support here