I stayed home today, I am also physically sick with a horrid cold that I was keeping at bay, but it really hit hard yesterday. But mostly I just needed to hide from the world.

I was up so late last night, crying and sobbing and being super worried about what my T would say or think about me. And having memory after memory playing through my mind constantly. I'm exhausted.

I sent my T another email asking him to please not read the attachment in the first one. I was too late, he read it first and emailed me this morning. He said that it does not change his impression of me nor his willingness to work with me. He told me to take good care of myself and he would see me next week.

It feels kind of a cold response to me, I don't know what would have been better. I feel awful........