I'm Alex, I'm sixteen, and I live in the US. If I explained everything that's happening you would end up reading an entire novel and I have a habit for rambling, so I'll keep it short.

I have been diagnosed with OCD and other anxiety disorders. However, the only reason I was diagnosed was because my parents thought it was weird that I hate being touched and thought I had something really wrong with me and even after I was diagnosed they continued making fun of my symptoms and such. Before hand, I suffered from severe GAD for two years or so and that entire time my parents accused me of faking it or being over dramatic, although I was unable to leave the house because I would have anxiety attacks that left me immobile. I lost so much weight people asked if I was anorexic and my parents still didn't do anything.

I went to the school counselor's last year for other reasons and they sent me to a school psychiatrist, and he recommended me to get checked out for Asperger's. While I was seeing him I was in what I think was probably a form of depression? I was so sad I was starting to have delusions and the school had to call my parents about me because so many teachers noticed and were concerned, and even then they wouldn't take me anywhere for help.

Right now I'm really concerned I have some type of mood disorder, because for years I've had my moods change a lot and within the past year they've gotten more and more intense until one week I'll be bouncing off the wall feeling great about myself and the next week I'll feel suicidal every minute of every day. I can't tell my parents because they'l only yell at me and make fun of me and scold me, and they won't actually help me. I'm starting to get really scared of myself because of how quickly my moods flip (i.e. this morning I woke up at 2 AM completely awake and energized, ready to jump out of bed and do stuff and stayed that way until the last hour or so, and now I don't even feel like I'm real and I want to go to do something really reckless and hurt myself).

I need to know if it's worth going back to my school counselor's again, because I'm scared to tell them about my parents and start something bad, but I'm also getting more and more scared of myself. I can't keep up with my own thoughts one day and the next all I can think about is dying and I really think I need help. I don't have any friends (I've always been an outcast), and have no family members that can help me. I'm sorry if this is unnecessary or something, but I don't know what to do at all and I'm getting more and more panicked every time my mood switches.