I so don't feel brave. I feel that I have been a wimp and stayed home to avoid the world, too worried how I may respond to people feeling as sensitive as I do today. I find being sick reduces my ability to cope even more.

I put a film on this afternoon, a friend told me it was hilarious, and parts were but it made me cry buckets of tears. It was called Tammi. I was looking for distraction from these feelings and thoughts that keep rising up.

You are probably right about my T. When I have brought up hard things in the past he seems to get really serious in his demeanour. I asked him about it one time and he said that when things that are so difficult and take a lot for me to say and have great meaning, he feels that he needs to treat them with the seriousness they deserve. He is very cautious to not say anything that may stress me out more, and has previously told me that he purposely doesn't respond to content of a difficult nature when I email, as he believes I really don't want him to. He is right.

Thanks for helping me to remember that OE. I really would like for him to have told me to not beat myself up, or use more comforting words. I don't know. I need to do that for myself I guess.

Anyway, my boy will be home soon so need to put a happy face on.........