I have an appointment with the disability part of my university this afternoon, its sort of the deciding point to see if i can study or not. I'm so anxious I could vommit.

What if they can't help me and this is it for me?

I have a diagnosis appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow, a few hours before I'm due to go on holiday. They are supposed to tell me whats wrong there and then unless its too complicated, they are going to change my meds and asess my care needs. This is going to trigger me and throw me into the bottom end of depression.

I'm so nervous and I have no motivation. I feel like such an idiot for having these problems, it feels like its always me that bad things happen too. I'm not sure what i'm alive for or why I am still here.