So, she could learn from the other woman, the one who sent the pole dancing pics, that her husband has been untruthful about the marriage? Well, I suppose that would be enllightnening, but, ultimately, it's a humiliating action on her part, and since he has already caused so much insecurity, not wearing his ring because she is not behaving as he feels she should....He's controlling her and using emotional blackmail.
I would not, repeat NOT, call any women with whom he is having contact! Sadmommy needs to start taking care of herself!
A loving partnership does not make you cry and lose valuable sleep. It does not harm your children's mental states. It should give you peace and assurance.
Patty