Hi,

I should of mentioned the substance which I will now and add to original post.

I take a natural crushed leaf called 'Kratom'. It produces light opiate like effects. Without it, I am an anxious, depressed and emotional wreck. It calms me down enough so that I am able to explore why I do the things and behave the way I do. I am able to recognise the actual problem and then I am able to work on that problem...which I still have btw when I take this stuff but it calms it all down enough for me to see what it is I need to do.

Put it this way, without it, I have NO CHANCE of improving anything. You don't know me so please just take it from me, I am simply not capable of dealing with this stuff without the help from Kratom.

The effects for me are subtle...but enough so that I am able to think with a clear head and really see what's going on.