That's the whole issue here...I am not I am not in therapy because no one wants to treat me while taking this substance. When in fact, this substance is the reason I am even able to deal with it and work on stuff.

Ok, I have decided I am going to lie and tell them I am off it now. While I am in therapy, when the time is right, I will start slowly reducing my intake. I will already be in therapy so can have the help I need to battle what comes with being sober. But I will be sober with hopefully, a whole new set of beliefs and tools!

This whole situation may not be the 'right' way or 'correct' way but I do know, its the right and correct way for me.

This may not even be the case or true, all I know right now, I know its the best way forward...personally for me anyway