^ the thing is.. I am pretty happy.. and we do have sex... it's just that I wish she was more into it..more willing to even try to have an orgasm... and more willing to get help for her obvious issues.

I have even thought about asking her permission to have an affair. but, even that question has a huge potential for causing harm.

but, then again, maybe my request would motivate her to get help....

forgive me for being judgmental.... but, how could someone get to be in their 40's without ever having had an orgasm?... or even a desire to try to have an orgasm.?.. sometimes I wonder if her mother really screwed her up somehow.

In her mind for men to have orgasms is normal and healthy... but, for women? she has a really weird way of thinking about it. like it's dirty somehow for a woman to want or experience one. and she just continually tries to justify her beliefs... like that's even possible.