Maybe so. Or even that the existence of you thinking independently had no reality for her. Like she had no need to talk to you because only she was the holder and controller of thought. So only her need for some reflection from you would prompt her to see or communicate with you? And then if you didn't reflect her, that would be discordant?

I don't think my mother was a narcissist, but rather filled with projections onto me. I was invisible except as a holder of her projections. Not sure how that relates to her needs. Maybe a way of staving off some sort of fear or bolstering her own ego strength? Not sure what the label for that would be?

Did you ever experience the sense that your mother saw herself in competition with you? That would flair up sometimes for me.