Thanks, I understand you. That was very nice of you to say. Coming out of all dysfunctional patterns into this tiny little space called "reason" is very hard for people who interjected, accepted and unconsciously behave by the rules of their damaged upbringing or stayed for a long period of time with, again, damaged people by their own tragedy.
Sometimes I really don't know where is the boundary between finding excuses for ones behavior, enabling and responsibility for someones own actions.
Another thing I hate is a constant self-doubt in order to detect and fix my own issues and stop hurting others. Sometimes I wish that I could just go into some store and buy one new software, operating system, (principles of behaving) for my brain, cause this old one is made by amateurs, and its so hard to detect and fix bugs.
Guhhh...