Hi, I'm new to this forum but I legitimately don't have anyone else to talk to. I've had a friend, one of my best friends for a long time. She knows I've always had feeling for her and at a time she liked me back, but we never dated. She was in a long term relationship and it was kind of manageable for me, but now that she's single I've been getting panic attacks wondering if she's with someone else, or meeting other people romantically. It's reasonable, but there's no actual proof. I really want to be friends with her but the panic attacks every night are brutal. And the only way to stop them is to constantly question her who she's with, but she could easily be lying - not to mention it's completely unfair to her.
I just texted her saying that we shouldn't be friends anymore because it's not fair to her and it hurts me, but I don't want her giving up her freedom just because I'm crazy. But she was my last friend - I don't really have anyone else, so the loneliness and not being around or talking to the person I have separation anxiety to is only going to make things worse for a while until they get better...if they even do.

What should I even do in this situation? I'm so lost it's ridiculous...