I've been through this so many times because I have a paradoxical reaction to any tranquilizer. This is something only realized recently by the medical profession. Taking a stimulant calms me, while taking a tranquilizer increases anxiety. The reason is that a stimulant increases my feeling of control while anything that makes me drowsy lowers my control. Years ago, therapists couldn't see how that works, and I would have to "lie" to keep from worse agony than ever.
So, I think you have to do what you know is helpful for you, as people can be quite atypical in ways medical "experts" don't understand. I think that if you are progressing in therapy and not having crazy emotions, you should stay with what you do. In a perfect world, everyone could be perfectly honest, but we're in a world where mental science is still in it's infancy and where some people are very rigid and uncaring about individuals. From what I read, Kratom is not illegal. And sounds like it really helps you deal with life while you can also work on your problems.
I don't think it's a good idea at all to deprive a patient of medication just to see "where he is at". That's what I think from my own ten years of good and bad treatment. They should listen to your ideas of how it works and not treat you like a 3 yr. old.