It just reminds me of that quote about the definition of madness being when you do the same thing over and over expecting different results... The meds help you feel more in control (you seem calmer & more coherent, even though you still hear or see things), so you either have to take them or learn to tolerate distressing emotions. DBT is supposedly good at teaching distress tolerance, or ask your new therapist to teach you, but like Sometimes said, it will take work on your part. I'm glad you don't find this cycle exhausting, but honestly I find it hard to know what to say to help you when you stop your meds and post in a panic all the time

*Willow*