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Old Sep 03, 2014, 05:08 PM
Trippin2.0's Avatar
Trippin2.0 Trippin2.0 is offline
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Member Since: May 2010
Location: Cape Town South Africa
Posts: 11,937
How does that saying go?

Give a man a fish and he has food for the day, teach a man to fish and he has food for life...(?)

Idk, I'm sure I remembered that wrong, but the message is the same nonetheless.

This enabling has to come to an end... stop giving her fish so she can make the effort to go catch her own.

Abandoning and refusing to enable are two very different things.

If your sister was helpless and UNABLE to sustain herself, then I can see how your refusal to ASSIST her would be seen as abandonment.

At the moment you're TAKING RESPONSIBILITY for a completely ABLE person who is simply REFUSING to take care of herself because she knows you will do it FOR her.

Yes friends and family are there to help us in our time of need. But you're doing faaaaar more than help and she is in a perpetual state of self-inflicted need.

Cut that shyt out Seriously

How do you stop?

You accept and communicate the fact that you are UNABLE to carry her dead weight because you simply cannot afford to do so ny longer.

Just like she can't afford her bills, neither can you. Difference is, she's responsible for hers while you are not.

So they're her problem, not yours.

She's a grown woman, time for her to sink or swim, and trust me, once the water gets too deep, her self-preservation will kick in and she'll swim. Orrrr she'll find someone else to leech off of.

Once you've communicated (out of sheer courtesy and not because you owe her an explanation) that you will no longer be paying her bills, refrain from bringing up the topic again. For example don't reply to a text or email regarding money, simply delete it. Case closed. She will eventually get the message.

Stop allowing her to use you.
Sister or no, its just plain WRONG...

Take care
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DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD

"The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
Thanks for this!
dedicated, ~Christina