Quote:
Originally Posted by Akama
A lot of people don't respond well to blunt confrontation by just anyone, it is difficult enough to accept it from people with who we have a trusting relationship.
If the desire is wanting to help then we need to choose what is effective and not just by what we feel like what we should do. I believe your intention to help, but there is enough literature around this subject and it is mostly not a good idea to just do that with a stranger when we haven't earned the right yet. This is the whole reason therapists try to establish a good relationship first, else-wise no one's going to be able to take in their criticisms and suggestions.
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in addition to this i think timing is key. growli had just taken some very positive steps on a difficult issue, so that really isn't the best time to confront her about a completely unrelated topic, altho she did bring it up, and go all commando on her. imo that is the time to encourage and praise her for doing something positive. if one just gets "constructive criticism" no matter whether they take positive or negative steps then it can be rather disheartening. also, she can't deal with all her problems at once especially when she isn't even in therapy yet. getting a T will likely make it easier for her to address other issues like the friendship issue so it is good to keep the focus on that.
growli mentioned, in i think her last thread, that she really just wants to "share". i read that and sort of scratched my head thinking okay how can i support someone if they only want to share. i figured she just wants to blow off some steam and probably doesn't want advice right then. that can be quite difficult when the OP is doing self-destructive things and why it is easy for the rest of us to get frustrated and concerned. i don't think any of us want to support self-destructive behaviors but maybe we can try to understand a bit where she's at. when she's in a calmer or more sober place then maybe she will listen as to other options.