Diagnosed a week ago (after seeing a therapist for six years). Started seeing a new therapist a month ago and she caught the symptoms right away from my patient goals list and my past history in my file.

These are my symptoms:

-Feeling lost, not real. Sometimes I imagine this is not real life, that I am not real and I stop breathing at the thought of it. Feel like I don't know who I am. My personality changes to suit whatever situation or what I feel like people expect from me. I feel like I am slivers of people in one body. (Schizophrenia has been ruled out.)
-EXTREME self esteem issues/body image issues. NO self esteem no matter what I accomplish in my personal or professional life. Feel like I look like I am 500 pounds. I am overweight but not anywhere near that number. Double chin, the way my eyes are set. Not deserving of people's love. Feel worthless, evil.
-EXTREME anger - highly irritable at anything. Major triggers are annoying sounds (kids beating a stick over and over on something), music turned too low to where I can't hear the words. Any kind of change I am not expecting. People not living up to my expectations. Life in general these days. Sometimes I throw things or start hitting myself. Never have hit anyone else or thrown anything at them.
-Trust issues - There is literally (1) person in my life I trust and I am still waiting for me to do something that will make her turn away from me. (She's like my second mom). I don't trust people. Always think people are out to get me.
-Paranoia - Tone of voice, email, text, etc....and I will become paranoid that someone is angry even if they aren't. I take things the wrong way and end up feeling like they are mad at me even if they tell me 100 times they aren't. Always see the worst in people or situations.
-EXTREME Guilt - Guilt over past mistakes. Can't let go of the guilt or that I caused other people the pain I have caused which then causes me more pain.
-EXTREME fatigue - I stay exhausted mentally and physically 24/7 no matter the meds, exercise or rest I get.
-Sexual Issues - Cheated on my first husband continuously. Remarried and cheated on this husband too. Goes from one extreme to the other....either I want it and with some random guy or not at all. Never a middle ground it seems. Hubby tries to be there for me and give me attention but at times it's not enough and it makes me restless. I will obsess and plot and fantasize. Feel like an addict like it's my drug.
-Control/OCD - Like everything to be in control and everything in it's place. The past three years I have been spiraling down and my house is chaotic, everything at this point in my life is.
-Jealousy - Jealous over people that my husband even speaks to. Jealous over his video games.
- Cut myself off from the world - People talk and I hear them but don't "hear" them, will ask them to repeat themselves several times before I get what they are saying.
- MAJOR anxiety - I worry about any and everything. Will my kids get sick and die or some horrible disease? Will my husband? How will I die? When will I die? Will I go to Heaven? Am I really saved or will I go to hell because I am a bad person? Are we going to war? Will I be able to defend and feed my kids if we do? I mean you name it and it will go off on a tangent.
-Confusion, forgetfulness
-Can not seem to get past events whether inflicted upon me or caused my me. No peace about any of those situations.
- Always afraid I will be abandoned and always feel unworthy of love. If the one person in my life (my bio-mom) didn't love me enough to keep me how will anyone else?

These are mine.........blah...........

Main point - YOU ARE NOT ALONE!