I'm sorry you are going through this cthlyte I know the feeling of going through this alone. Sometimes it is just as hard for loved ones as it is on us. My family just rather sweep it under the carpet but, not so much as not caring as not knowing what to do to help us through. I know how it is to suffer silently. You can make it through this, but sometimes we have to ask for help and hope someone hears. This is a great community to learn from and get support. Psych Central has got me through some tough times. Keep posting