If I had anything to offer in a relationship, then why is it that when people are interested in me, they say they like me but would never be in a relationship with me? It would also follow that if I had something to offer in a relationship, that I would have been in a relationship by now or had real opportunities to be in one. Clearly, I'm lacking in some area or several areas. And the excuses are a mix of things I can't do anything about and things that are just plain cruel, like I'm going to move someday and not live where I am now forever, I'm not in the right place in my life, I don't have enough experience (either sexual or relationship wise), I'm too weird/creepy/whatever, or I'm too fat (I'm size 10/12…so no, I'm not model-skinny, but not THAT fat). What can I really do about it at this point? I eat very healthily and I suspect that I don't eat enough as it is as I've had problems with anemia and blood sugar being too low. And maybe I don't formally exercise, but I spend my days walking, carrying stuff up and down stairs etc. to the point that I'm a regular at the chiropractor's office. So apparently I'm not killing myself as much as other people are to be skinny? F that. I already have so much guilt just eating the bare minimum to stay on my feet (I feel really weak if I haven't eaten in a few hours, probably an effect of low blood sugar). Not to mention that those small few that actually show interest and aren't put off by my fatness or whatever only treat me like I'm only good for one thing—their "I want to spend time with you" means they want to get me drunk and have their way with me. This has happened or been suggested nearly every time.

How am I to know about common interests (outside our career field) if I'm unable to even talk to him (or anyone else I'm ever interested in)? I would like to talk to them, but whenever I make the first move, I'm seen as the bad guy or avoided. So apparently I'm doing something unforgivable by showing interest in them? I wish others would make the first move once in a while, especially if they all get upset if I make the first move.