So here's the situation...it's almost midnight and I should be asleep. But I'm all fired up/riled up about this debate going on on one of my friend's Facebook pages. I've been called opinionated (though I feel I am actually very open about debating different things as long as it's with other people who are open and respectful)...it's just I have opinions and it seems the people who disagree with me are the ones who call me opinionated (hmm). Anyway...I stayed away from this friend's post because I didn't want to show my opinion on the topic because I'm sick of people saying I'm negative, blah, blah, blah. But then I saw someone writing stuff that made me soooo angry. I can't stab what she was saying and I instantly started forming an opinion on the type of person age is and want to say all kinds of things. So I posted something (respectfully) and she wrote back with the same opinion that I feel is wrong. I didn't write back eve. Though I want to say omfg you are soooo wrong!!! I hate people like you!!! (I realize this sounds like something Tweens would be writing about but it actually was a good debate amount adults).

So anyway...now I can't sleep. I actually felt shaky I was so angry about what this person wrote (which I am actually excited about because I actually could see my anger and am now not trying to judge it). But...at the same time...I recognize I won't change this person's opinion. Why am I lying here still pisses off? Do normal people do this? In the grand scheme of life this isn't important...sleep is more important. But it's like I want to be angry...I want to hate, yell and scream. Why? Is it that subconscious anger coming to the surface? Is it a trigger from something in the past? Why can't I just look at the posts on the Facebook wall and say "what dolt...glad I don't think like her" and move on. Why do I feel the need to write on the wall and why did it make me so angry?

And...going back to my previous thought...how do I stop it? (writing about it has helped actually a lot). Something I have noticed as I have stated DBT is that I really fight with myself. When I am feeling bad it's almost like I want to feel bad. I try some DBT techniques but I feel like I want to be angry, sad etc...maybe because that's how I behaved/reacted for 37 years I guess I am used to it-it's what I know. In a way-it's comfortable. So it's hard to change.