Hi. When I went to therapy I had absolutely no clue why things are happening to me. I knew I can´t deal with my anxiety and self destructive behaviour anymore but I did not have explanation. It did not make sense to me.

I did not have to have the answer though. I just explained what is going on with me and what my issues are and with my therapist we slowly worked on learning about the reasons behind all of it.

It is not your job to know. You just need to be willing to come to sessions and work on it and you will find out together with your T. I know it is frustrating to now know but really concentrate on your issues rather then the "why" you will get there, it is part of the process.

Good luck on your journey