That's messed up Sweepy. I think hospice T is really overstepping her boundaries here and frankly seems a bit out of her depth. I don't know of anyone who has granted their spouse full access to their therapy charts etc. I fail to see how this could be in your best interest.

If H is concerned about you and just wants to share his observations about your mental state with your T, that's another story. It sounds like he has passed up opportunities to do just that and that what he really wants is to know what you say to your T. It might be time to tell him and hospice T that you are no longer open to discussing this with them and that you will no longer attend sessions with them if they are unable to respect this boundary.