Welcome storm.

You can't force yourself to remember, they will come but when they are ready to come out , when you are able to deal with this. I know it's frustrating and scary, been there and some stuff I don't remember either.

Flashbacks believe it or not is a part of recovery, we get them because we are ready to deal etc. Also it's part of the trauma or from recovery a memory.

What I suggest is to get yourself some help to start to deal with this. IT's something no one can do on their own. You can try and push it away and forget it and it might work for awhile, but it will always come back until it's dealt with.

I know someone that pushed the abuse back 20 years, thought she was free then it came up and knocked her flat on her behind.

So getting help early will help you in the long run. I waited too long to deal with my abuse stuff because I thought it would go away, that it was dissapear but it didn't it followed me everywhere. I was plauged with that and PTSD for 8 yrs .. even though I wasn't diagnosed that long ago.

I just JUST came over a major point in my recovery where the flashback have pretty much disappeared and so have the nightmares. The only dregs of this is body memory and some triggers, but I can handle it now 4 months ago I couldn't.

I've been in therapy for 8 yrs and i'm still seeing this psychiatrist, and I don't know where i'd be now if it wasn't for her.

Just let the memories come, again it's hard to do but you can't force them out, they will come when they are ready and when you can handle them otherwise they are staying put. Also again the more you try to remember it the further back you are pushing it.

Time does heal....with the proper help and guidence.

<font color=red>~</font color=red><font color=blue>S</font color=blue><font color=green>u</font color=green><font color=blue>n</font color=blue><font color=green>d</font color=green><font color=blue>a</font color=blue><font color=green>n</font color=green><font color=blue>c</font color=blue><font color=green>e</font color=green><font color=red>~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>