That's a little scary Sweepy It sounds a lot like something my H would try to pull too. Hospice T is way out of line. Is she a real T or just a healthcare worker who has done a course on bereavement counseling? My mom did one of those years ago through church and would go around to people's houses like you describe. She'd be helpful enough for people who just needed to talk about their grief but in no way qualified to deal with any mental health issues...
Whatever you do don't give up any of your autonomy. I've bowed to my controlling H in the past and it's brought both of us nothing but grief, though he would rather blame the rest of the world.

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