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Originally Posted by guilloche
Oh wow. I'm sorry Indesctructable Girl, this sounds like an awful place to be, and I do wonder if your T handled it badly.
I am so not an expert on therapy, at all. I'm still trying to figure out how to make it work too.
One thing that has been interesting though... I went in after session 3 or so, and told my T that I was feeling stressed and sick and not sleeping, and that I think it had to do with therapy. He immediately said, "Oh! OK, it sounds like you're not feeling safe here yet... so we can slow down!".
I couldn't have identified that myself, but I think he was right. Slowing down didn't fix everything, but it did reduce alot of the awful feelings about therapy I was having. Quite a bit.
I think that if he, instead, said - "well, you're not committed enough, you need to either jump in full force, or quit until you can commit" - that would not have helped at all. It would have made me feel LESS safe, more pushed, more stressed, and probably made therapy that much harder.
I don't know if it's the same thing for you, but when I read what you wrote, it just LEAPT out at me - ultimatums are like threats, like saying, "you are not doing enough, you must do more or get out" - which would make me (maybe most people?) feel threatened and hurt and unsafe, and not be helpful.
Also... I didn't quite understand why you mentioned her risking her career over you? I've had a LOT of Ts that did not in anyway help me, none have ever suffered any kind of career repercussions for this...
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Yes I felt EXTREMELY threatened. She keeps saying I don't do my fair share, and I asked what that is, and it would be doing things that would make a difference to my situation. She keeps going on about taking responsibility. I literally was so confused and asked what this meant.
She said when I told her at the end of the session how bad I was feeling (self harming bad) it wasn't taking responsibility and I should have come in and talked about that and not about work stress etc. At the time I felt like I couldn't.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Terabithia
I don't know - it seems like if you feel worse after therapy, maybe she's not the right therapist for you. Can you pinpoint what makes you feel worse afterwards instead of better? I'm sorry if I've read previous posts of yours and I'm just not remembering. Is she bringing out feelings of neediness? If my conversations extended beyond the room, I would feel more needy.
What's the deal with her possibly being sued?
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I have no idea how she could be sued. I think possibly if I faff and don't come for sessions and the manager thinks somebody else should have that time. Apparently she loves me but won't risk her 20 year career and I come first, if I want the slot its there. Wtf I'm not asking her to risk her career.